Monday, July 7, 2008

JOKES - Top 10 Ideas on 'Out of Office' reply


NEWS and REVIEWS JOKES - Some where in the Silicon Valley, a geek’s notion of “Out Of Office” reply


1- I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.


2- You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.


3- Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management.


4- I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 5/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.


5- Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.


6- The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this one is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).


7- Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.


8- Hi! I’m busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don’t bother to leave me any messages.


9- I’ve run away to join a different circus.


10. AND, FINALLY, ABSOLUTELY THE BEST ‘Out of Office’ Reply: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Loretta’ instead of ‘Anthony’.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Hollywood Movie Review: WALL- E (2008)




Director: Andrew Stanton

Producer: Jim Morris

Voice: Jeff Garlin, Benjamin Burtt, Kim Kopf, Fred Willard

Distribution: Walt Disney Pictures

Rating: 3.75 on 5.00 Stars

(News and Reviews): WALL-E in a nut-shell is a small but a cute movie. If you love animation and a big fan of PIXAR / Walt Disney Pictures, then WALL-E will not disappoint you. Yes, this animation with high end visual effects has one exception – it has no dialogues or sub-titles. It is a near silent movie. Well, I guess that is the genius of Director Andrew Stanton, who has managed to narrate theme and heart touching story of Wall-E without words.


WALL-E (an acronym for Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth) is a primitive but smart & lonely robot left on earth. He is seen cleaning mess / junk on earth (read NYC in USA) as humans no longer find mother earth habitable to stay here. There are no plants, no animals or green sky. The earth looks like a dump-yard with only 2 moving thing around – a) WALLE and b) Cockroach. This is 700 years from the present time. An auto-pilot firm B&L (no full-form available), managed by machines, control every thing every resource now, including human beings. Civilization now stays in a close but conditioned atmosphere in a huge space ship some where in the universe, having lost complete touch from earth or living beings.


In a very subtle way the Writer & Director Andrew Stanton sends message that we can’t pollute earth with non-recycled garbage as it will lead to a disaster. No, don’t worry, Wall-E is not a social message movie or is based on environmental propaganda theme but actually a love story between 2 machines i.e. Mr WALL-E and Ms Eva.


One fine day an alien ship lands on Earth (NYC) bringing a beautiful spotless white flying object (Robot) Ms Eva to search life on earth. Wall-E is thrilled as he longs for a company. He is bored being all alone amongst the heap of garbage, dust and junk. However, he soon realizes that she is different and way advance in-terms of technology or raw power. But as they say, love is blind so Mr Walle follows her and the cause. The movie picks up from here. You will love to see it at theaters. I am happy to give it 3.75 on 5 stars.

Cheers !


for

Friday, July 4, 2008

The Hanuman Chalisa - praise for Lord Hanuman, explained and shared




I have been a strong Hanuman believer since my childhood days. Though, not a strong one going to temple every week or every occasions, but heart-to-heart, always felt connected with the mighty God of my Hindu faith. Lord Hanuman has been my guide and path-bearer since the time I could remember gaining consciousness and growing-up in Patna. However, I was pretty late in picking-up ‘The Hanuman Chalisa’ by-heart. Even today, after so many years and perhaps with uncounted chantings, according to my wife, I still miss few words which is a shame for a religious devout like me. But then, that is me and I am sure my Lord Hanuman will pardon me for that.


Every time, I would read Hanuman Chalisa and wonder what it means really? We all know, Hindu fiath existing for last 3000 yrs, with over 1.00 billion faithfull in India and across the world, has many Gods and many interpretation, so there is no one teaching or Mono-History. Of Course, Lord Hanuman is omni-present from Kashmir to Kanya-kumari, from Goa to Calcutta, around and beyound, one can’t fathom, but I must admit that ‘The Chalisa’ was never understood 100% by me, till today.


My best frined Nishit Srivastava sent me the meaning of “Hanuman Chalisa” and I was too impressed to read it, thus desided to put it on my morning blog. I am sure, not every one is as ignorant as me about Hanuman Chalisa, but this English version interpretation of Hanuman Chalisa will be a good guild for many who wants to know more about our Monkey God Hanuman (Son of Maruti (air) and Shiva avatar.


Here it goes. Read, Enjoy and Believe that “Good is always Good”


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Shree Hanuman Chalisa




Shree Guru Charan Saroj Raj, Nij Man Mukar Sudhari,
Barnau Raghuvar Bimal Jasu, Jo dayaku Phal Chari

With the dust of Guru’s Lotus feet, I clean the mirror of my mind and then narrate the sacred glory of Sri Ram Chandra, The Supereme among the Raghu dynasty. The giver of the
four attainments of life.

Budhi heen Tanu Janike, Sumirow, Pavan Kumar, Bal Buddhi
Vidya Dehu Mohi, Harahu Kalesh Bikaar

Knowing myself to be ignorent, I urge you, O Hanuman, The son of Pavan! O Lord! kindly Bestow on me strength, wisdom and knowledge, removing all my miseries and blemishes.

Jai Hanuman Gyan Guna Sagar Jai Kipis Tihun Lok Ujgaar
Victory of Thee, O Hanuman, Ocean of wisdom and virtue, victory to the Lord of monkeys who is well known in all the three worlds.

Ramdoot Atulit Bal Dhamaa, Anjani Putra Pavansut naamaa.
You, the Divine messager of Ram and repository of immeasurable strength, are also known as

Anjaniputra and known as the son of the wind - Pavanputra.

Mahebeer Bikram Bajrangi, Kumati Nivaar Sumati Ke Sangi.
Oh Hanumanji! You are valiant and brave, with a body like lightening. You are the dispeller of darkness of evil thoughts and companion of good sense and wisdom.

Kanchan Baran Biraaj Subesaa, Kanan kundal kunchit kesa.
Shri Hanumanji’s physique is golden coloured. His dress is pretty, wearing ‘Kundals’ ear-rings and his hairs are long and curly.

Hath Bajra Aur Dhvaja Birjai, Kandhe Moonj Janeu saage.
Shri Hanumanji is holding in one hand a lighting bolt and in the other a banner with sacred thread across his shoulder.

Shankar Suvna Kesari Nandan, Tej Pratap Maha Jag Vandan.
Oh Hanumanji! You are the emanation of ‘SHIVA’ and you delight Shri Keshri. Being ever effulgent, you and hold vast sway over the universe. The entire world proptiates. You are adorable of all.

Vidyavaan Guni Ati Chatur, Ram Kaj Karibe Ko Atur
Oh! Shri Hanumanji! You are the repository learning, virtuous, very wise and highly keen to do the work of Shri Ram.

Prabhu Charittra Sunibe Ko Rasiya, Ram Lakhan Sita man basyia.
You are intensely greedy for listening to the naration of Lord Ram’s lifestory and revel on its enjoyment. You ever dwell in the hearts of Shri Ram-Sita and Shri Lakshman.

Sukshma roop Dhari Siyahi Dikhwana, Bikat roop Dhari Lank Jarawa
You appeared beofre Sita in a diminutive form and spoke to her, while you assumed an awesome form and struck terror by setting Lanka on fire.

Bhim roop Dhari Asur Sanhare, Ramchandra Ke kaaj Savare.
He, with his terrible form, killed demons in Lanka and performed all acts of Shri Ram.

Laye Sajivan Lakhan Jiyaye, Shri Raghubir harashi ur laye.
When Hanumanji made Lakshman alive after bringing ‘Sanjivni herb’ Shri Ram took him in his deep embrace, his heart full of joy.

Raghupati Kinhi Bahut Badaai, Tum Mama Priya Bharat Sam Bahi.
Shri Ram lustily extolled Hanumanji’s excellence and remarked, “you are as dear to me as my own brother Bharat".

Sahastra Badan Tumharo Jas Gaave, Asa kahi Shripati Kanth Laagave.
Shri Ram embraced Hanumanji saying: “Let the thousand - tongued sheshnaag sing your glories".

Sankadik Brahmadi Muneesa, Narad Sarad Sahit Aheesa
Sanak and the sages, saints. Lord Brahma, the great hermits Narad and Goddess Saraswati along with Sheshnag the cosmic serpent, fail to sing the glories of Hanumanji exactly

Jam Kuber Digpal Jahan Te, Kabi Kabid Kahin Sake Kahan Te
What to talk of denizens of the earth like poets and scholars ones etc even Gods like Yamraj, Kuber, and Digpal fail to narrate Hanman’s greatness in toto.

Tum Upkar Sugrivahi Keenha, Ram Miali Rajpad Deenha
Hanumanji! You rendered a great service for Sugriva, It were you who united him with SHRI RAM and installed him on the Royal Throne.

Tumharo Mantro Bibhishan Maana, Lankeshwar Bhaye Sab Jag Jaana.
By heeding your advice. Vibhushan became Lord of Lanka, which is known all over the universe.

Juug Sahastra Jojan Par Bhaanu, Leelyo Taahi Madhur Phal Jaanu
Hanumanji gulped, the SUN at distance of sixteen thousand miles considering it to be a sweet fruit.

Prabhu Mudrika Meli Mukha Maaheen, Jaladhi Langhi Gaye Acharaj Naheen.
Carrying the Lord’s ring in his mouth, he went across the ocean. There is no wonder in that.

Durgam Kaaj Jagat Ke Jeete, Sugam Anugrah Tumhre Te Te.
Oh Hanumanji! all the difficult tasks in the world are rendered easiest by your grace.

Ram Duware Tum Rakhavare, Hot Na Aagya Bin Paisare.
Oh Hanumanji! You are the sentinel at the door of Ram’s mercy mansion or His divine abode. No one may enter without your permission.

Sab Sukh Lahen Tumhari Sarna, Tum Rakshak Kaahu Ko Darnaa.
By your grace one can enjoy all happiness and one need not have any fear under your protection.
Aapan Tej Samharo Aapei, Tanau Lok Hank Te Kanpei
When you roar all the three worlds tremble and only you can control your might.

Bhoot Pisaach Nikat Nahi Avei, Mahabir Jab Naam Sunavei.
Great Brave on. Hanumanji’s name keeps all the Ghosts, Demons & evils spirits away from his devotees.

Nasei Rog Hare Sab Peera, Japat Niranter Hanumant Beera
On reciting Hanumanji’s holy name regularly all the maladies perish the entire pain disappears.

Sankat Te Hanuman Chhudavei, Man Kram Bachan Dhyan Jo Lavei.
Those who rembember Hanumanji in thought, word and deed are well guarded against their odds in life.

Sub Par Ram Tapasvee Raaja, Tinke Kaaj Sakal Tum Saaja
Oh Hanumanji! You are the caretaker of even Lord Rama, who has been hailed as the Supreme Lord and the Monarch of all those devoted in penances.

Aur Manorath Jo Koi Lave, Soi Amit Jivan Phal Pave.
Oh Hanumanji! You fulfill the desires of those who come to you and bestow the eternal nectar the highest fruit of life.

Charo Juung Partap Tumhara, Hai Parsiddha Jagat Ujiyara.
Oh Hanumanji! You magnificent glory is acclaimed far and wide all through the four ages and your fame is radianlty noted all over the cosmos.

Sadho Sant Ke Tum Rakhvare, Asur Nikandan Ram Dulare.
Oh Hanumanji! You are the saviour and the guardian angel of saints and sages and destroy all the Demons, you are the seraphic darling of Shri Ram.

Ashta Siddhi Nau Nidhi Ke Data, Asa Bar Din Janki Mata.
Hanumanji has been blessed with mother Janki to grant to any one any YOGIC power of eight Sidhis and Nava Nidhis as per choice.

Ram Rasayan Tumhare Pasa, Sadaa Raho Raghupati Ke Dasa.
Oh Hanumanji! You hold the essence of devotion to RAM, always remaining his servant.

Tumhare Bhajan Ramko Pavei. Janam Janam Ke Dukh Bisravei.
Oh Hanumanji! through devotion to you, one comes to RAM and becames free from suffering of several lives.

Anta Kaal Raghubar Pur Jai, Jahan Janma Hari Bhakta Kahai.
After death he enters the eternal abode of Sri Ram and remains a devotee of him, whenever, taking new birth on earth.

Aur Devata Chitt Na Dharai, Hanumant Sei Sarva Sukh Karai
You need not hold any other demigod in mind. Hanumanji alone will give all happiness.

Sankat Kate Mitey Sab Peera, Jo Sumirei Hanumant Balbeera
Oh Powerful Hanumanji! You end the sufferings and remove all the pain from those who remember you.

Jai Jai Jai Hanuman Gosai Kripa Karahu Gurudev Ki Naiee
Hail-Hail-Hail-Lord Hanumanji! I beseech you Honour to bless me in the capacity of my supreme ‘GURU’ (teacher).

Jo Sat Baar Paath Kar Koi, Chhutahi Bandi Maha Sukh Hoi.
One who recites this Hanuman Chalisa one hundred times daily for one hundred days becames free from the bondage of life and death and ejoys the highest bliss at last.

Jo Yah Padhe Hanuman Chalisa, Hoy Siddhi Sakhi Gaurisa
As Lord Shankar witnesses, all those who recite Hanuman Chalisa regularly are sure to be benedicted.

Tulsidas Sada Hari Chera, Keeje Nath Hriday Mah Dera.
Tulsidas always the servant of Lord prays. “Oh my Lord! You enshrine within my heart.!

Chopai

Pavan Tanay Sankat Haran , Mangal Murti Roop. Ram Lakhan Sita Sahit, Hriday Basahu Sur Bhoop.

O Shri Hanuman, The Son of Pavan, Saviour The Embodiment of blessings, reside in my heart together with Shri Ram, Laxman and Sita.